The bonusmamma is still part of the family…right?

This one is a bit controversial. How do you define “family”? By Mexican terms “family” are those close to you, closely related or not, and in many occassions not even related to you at all. You know you are Mexican because you call your mom’s old friends for “aunties”, and their kids are your “cousins”. And the “cousin” role has a very special place in the hearts of the Mexicans. But as I don’t live in Mexico, I have to consider the meaning of “familj” in Sweden, and that means: mother, father, kids. Period. The rest are just relatives. So considering that stepfamilies where the kids come and go every other week are more and more common in Sweden, the term takes a different spin.

Whatever other people’s opinions may be, we call ourselves a “family”. That means we all care about each other, we help each other, and we love each other. We have reached the point in which we can just openly say so after a few discussions in which the girls disagreed with each other on whether or not I am part of their family. One said that it was very obvious I was, and the other said that I simply wasn’t. The first one got very upset and insisted I was part of their family, and that the other one was being “dumb”, to which the other one responded that I can’t be part of the family because I am not related to them. So the first one came up with the winning argument: “but Pappa married Glenda, and if she has kids they will be our siblings, so she is family. Plus she has brown hair just like me.” And that really was the winning argument. Now they are both putting pressure in the “getting more siblings” parts (and want to call her – if it’s a girl – Narnia!).




  1. I love when you write about bonusfamilies from a different perspective than the traditional Swedish. Take care of you and your family!


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